Wonder Woman or Xena?
by DNAisUnique
Summary: Booth's visitor asks an interesting question. Booth's answer is even more interesting. **References to 'Mummy in the Maze' and 'The Princess and the Pear.'**


**References Season 3's "Mummy in the Maze" and Season 4's "The Princess and the Pear." I know there are still many episodes for which I haven't written a fic, but this idea just would not leave my head. Therefore, it's an encore fic! Enjoy!**

**VVVVV**

Lance Sweets wiped his sweaty palms on his khakis and knocked on the door. He knew he shouldn't be nervous or scared; he was only visiting a client. No, a friend. Okay, a coworker.

"It's open!" Booth yelled from inside.

Sweets took a deep breath and opened the door. He found Booth in the living room, lounging on the couch.

"Oh," Booth said when he recognized his visitor. "I thought you were Bones."

"That must be some strong stuff they've got you on." Sweets laughed at his own joke, but ceased when he realized Booth wasn't laughing with him. He cleared his throat as the grin disappeared from his face, and he sat down on the opposite end of the couch from Booth.

The two men stared uncomfortably at each other.

"I hate it when you do that, Sweets," Booth muttered irritated.

"What? I'm not doing anything."

"Exactly! You just come in here and make yourself at home, then you expect me to start talking."

"Actually, I came by to see how you were feeling."

"Doesn't anybody use the phone anymore?" Booth groaned.

"I thought about calling, but I knew you wouldn't pick up when you recognized my number. But if you want me to go…" He stood.

"No, no," Booth interjected. "You're already here, so you might as well stay."

Sweets smiled slightly and sat back down. Perhaps they were friends after all.

"So how are you feeling?" Sweets asked.

"Better after Bones adjusted my back again."

"Again?! I can't believe you let her touch you after the last time." Sweets dropped what he thought was cleverly-worded bait and waited for Booth to respond. Even though young, Sweets could see the building sexual tension between the partners.

Booth ignored Sweets' lame attempt at being a psychological voyeur. "Bones said the doctor was wrong--I don't have a bulging disk. My back is just slightly misaligned."

"That's good, then," Sweets replied, disappointed that Booth didn't take the bait. "I know how you miss working out in the field. Especially on cases like this one."

Booth shot Sweets a look.

"Listen, Sweets," Booth sighed. "I just wanted to, uh, thank you for being there for Bones."

"Hey," Sweets replied, holding up his hands in a surrendering gesture. "She's the one who saved my ass." He paused and smiled. "You should have seen her, Booth. She went all Xena on the Black Knight. Chased him up the hill. I couldn't see everything that went on, but her hand-to-hand--or hand-to-sword--combat skills must have been stellar to get Excalibur away from him. And despite the fact that I was draped over the steering wheel, it was really hot."

Booth glared, and a new, more vicious set of daggers went Sweets' way.

Sweets swallowed, grateful that Booth was still minimally incapacitated. "I apologize, Agent Booth. That was totally out of line and not something I should have shared with you."

"You got that right, Sweets."

Silence momentarily filled the room.

"Although, Bones does kind of have a thing for superheroes or powerful women," Booth finally said, a slight grin on his face.

"How so?" Sweets tried to not sound so excited.

"Year before last when we had to go to that Halloween ball thing at the Jeffersonian, Bones dressed as Wonder Woman. Did you know she has a fear of snakes? Analyze that. What does a fear of snakes represent?"

Sweets cleared his throat and swallowed. His mouth was suddenly dry. "I'm more interested in why she chose a superhero when she's well aware of the fact that superheroes are not real."

"She watched the show when she was a kid. Pretending to be Wonder Woman reminds her of the good years of her childhood."

"Very astute observation, Booth," Sweets agreed. "So, who would you prefer, Wonder Woman or Xena?"

"I know what you're doing, Sweets. Your psychological mumbo jumbo isn't going to work. Besides, don't you ever get tired of shrinking?" It was Booth's turn to laugh at his own joke.

Sweets nodded. "It's perfectly normal to fantasize, and Wonder Woman versus Xena is a reasonable comparison. Wonder Woman exudes a soft sexuality, whereas Xena is hardcore. But they're both women of power who fight evil. Men are turned on by chicks who can kick ass. I understand your need to deflect in this situation. You're worried about what I'll think of your sexual preferences, so instead of answering the question, you made me the butt of your joke."

Booth squirmed and changed his position on the couch, but didn't reply.

"It's okay if you don't want to answer now. I can always ask you about it in our next session."

"You wouldn't."

"Wouldn't I?" He arched an eyebrow and smirked.

Defeated, Booth sighed. He certainly didn't want to have to answer that question in front of Brennan. "Fine," he muttered unhappily. He shifted on the couch again as he pondered the question. He was just about to give his answer when Brennan walked in.

"Hey, Booth, I picked up some stuff at the store. Oh, Sweets, what are you doing here?"

"Nice to see you too, Doctor Brennan," Sweets replied.

Ignoring Sweets, Brennan turned her attention to Booth. "Did Sweets tell you he asked if he could call me 'Bones?'" It was a random question, but she knew Booth would enjoy the story.

Booth grinned and glanced at Sweets. "I'm guessing she said not to call her 'Bones.'"

Sweets half-nodded and his lips drew together in a tight frown. "Yeah, that's about right."

"That's exactly what I said," Brennan interjected.

"Of course, Doctor Brennan. My tone implied to Booth that he correctly guessed your reaction."

Booth grinned to himself as he watched the verbal tennis match between Brennan and Sweets. His smile widened as he had an 'Aha!' moment.

"Bones," Booth declared.

"What?" Brennan asked.

"No, I wasn't calling you. I was answering Sweets' question."

Puzzled, Brennan frowned and moved toward Booth. "Sweets didn't ask a question, Booth. How much Vicodin did you take?"

"I'm fine, Bones. Sweets asked me a question right before you got here, and I never gave him an answer."

Sweets, who was also initially confused by Booth's seemingly random comment, smiled. "That's quite interesting."

Brennan's forehead and eyebrows crinkled as she glanced between the two men. "Okay, I'm assuming it was a question about me. Either of you want to tell me what's going on?"

The men looked at each other then back at Brennan.

"Look at the time!" Sweets exclaimed as he jumped up.

"Booth?" Brennan questioned as she watched Sweets hurry to the door.

"Sweets, I know you're not going to leave me hanging!" Booth called.

"Just because I already bought the stuff for mac and cheese doesn't mean I have to make it for you."

"Bones, you promised!" Booth whined. "Sweets! Sweets!"

But the young doctor was already gone. He knew he'd pay for it later. He never dreamed that Booth would answer the question like that, but it confirmed what Sweets had known all along.

**VVVVV**

**Thanks for reading!**

**I need some help from you guys. I'm fully aware that I have multiple works-in-progress, but I'm not self-motivated to work on any of them. ('Words of the Day' is not included in that since it's a series of one-shots rather than an continuing story and is being used as a playground for my muse.) My goal is to finish one of my works-in-progress in each of the next three months. This is where I'm requesting some help. If you have a moment, please drop me a line and let me know which fic ('Better Than Sex,' 'Lights, Camera, Bones,' or 'No More Mourning') you'd like completed first, second, and third. Yeah, I know this is quite weird, but if I know what people want to read, it will give me a definitive direction. Thanks in advance.**


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